by Elizabeth Butler
Am I worthless?
Because I don’t play by the rules?
Caring every second of every day,
Draining me completely.
Exhausted and shattered.
From this thing I call my life
Growing into a person I really don’t want to be.
Hungry for power
Isolation takes its toll.
Jail inside my thoughts crawling to be free.
Keeping one eye firmly stuck.
Learning to blend into this crowd of dullness.
Managing a way to focus on what’s real.
Not a sound spoken but my brain knows.
Other than power nothing is a priority.
Performance within my own life.
Quitting everything I know to be true,
Rummaging for a reason I should turn it around.
Somewhere in the depths of my mind,
Trailing off into the distance
Unusual circumstances arrive.
Visually I’m of sound mind.
Why do I pander to these rules of life?
Xanax, the only drug that can forgo this pain.
Yelling at myself intently, forcing myself to cry,
Zillion and one voices won’t shut the hell up!
Elizabeth Butler is a disabled writer using a wheelchair. She has a Masters Degree in Creative Writing and has featured in a poetry anthology and has a collection of children's stories published online. She has self-published several books of poetry and achieved recognition in her local area and has performed at local events.